As an Introvert, what I wish Non-Introverts Knew
Word Count: 1166
Time to Read: 4 min 39 sec
This thought which I am penning down is pure fantasy. As an introvert, this is what I wish to surround my world. Are my fantasies the same as other introverts out there? I don’t know. What are the things others knew about introverts and the different kind of problems we face? If you are one just like me, read on and let me know in the comments so that not just me, but extroverts out there know about it.
Let me start by saying – I am not a people-person. No known people to interact. No relations to maintain and free from the exhaustion of meeting people.
I am a typical introvert. I struggle at keeping in touch with people whoever they are with no regrets. Be it brotherly friends or even close relatives. The struggle does not bother me. Known people have come to accept me as I am, and I appreciate that.
People should understand and realise the specifics of an introvert once they are openly declared. Let me rephrase that – people must understand the specifics of particular personality types. It means: understanding a person to be an introvert, extrovert, an idiot or even a jerk would help immensely.
When do people become aware of their personality type? I don’t know. I do not think that people take a personality test to gauge that. I exhibited such behaviours since my schooldays but realised about my introversion only a few years ago.
It was only then that I asserted my personality. So should you do the same? It is an open secret how one needs to differentiate an introvert from an extrovert.
I love to be surrounded by strangers. Strangers are amazing people and I love them. There are no passing smile and no rubbing of shoulders. It is only I, me and myself! I don’t have to look up at them to get a dreadful thought of, “Oh no! Not again!”. It is true of people who aren’t part of my circle of friends. Honestly, I don’t mean any disrespect. Interacting with people and small talks are a waste of time and energy.
It does not even bother me if you have been my neighbour for 10 years! I may still not talk to you openly!
I rather talk about something meaningful and mutually aligned interests. I would love to talk about movies, sci-fi, MCU, star wars, star trek and games, YouTubing, promoting channels, social media, video editing, making music and blogging. If you see me across the street and wish to strike a conversation, make sure that I am your friend and not the other way around.
What do I mean by that? I make friends with people only if I see fit. That’s when I decide on my terms and does not hinge on you. I do this because I should know if you are worth the ‘investment’ in the form of energy, phone call, mingling, etc.
I am no control freak but love to be in control of the situations. For instance, I control my emotions and not the other way around. I am a master of self and slave of none.
No one can control me. That does not mean I am out of control. I am unlike any person you may have come across. I am introvert and proud. I wish people around me knew that and that included strangers too. It should be something like as if a holographic signboard hovering on my head! But that would be too ridiculous!
Whenever you make friends with anyone, there is a basic expectation. It may be anything like: we may be friends for life, we may have similar likes and dislikes and he or she will back me up when needed. There could be more.
Introverts aren’t like that. When I see someone as a potential friend, to prolong the friendship will rest on me. If I decide otherwise, there is no room for us. I don’t want people to take it personally – remember it is not you, but me.
Not keeping in touch:
Why I don’t keep in touch because I don’t see any benefits of keeping in touch. What I mean by that is I have someone to confide. Someone on whom I can rely. Someone who I without doubt, confident that I can keep in touch for life.
If I lose touch, you keep in touch and I put my efforts to reciprocate. That will give me an idea that you are worth the efforts of keeping in touch.
It is even worst with relatives! Especially if you don’t live within proximity of my house. For instance, my uncle and aunt come for frequent visits since they live close-by. I mingle with them in parties and family get-togethers. So also with office colleagues but once they leave the organisation or I do. The chances of keeping in touch is not a guarantee.
The past 20 years of my work life, I am in touch with hardly 2-3 of my former colleagues. I seldom take initiatives to keep in touch with people.
The problem of an introvert that most are not aware: I read somewhere on the internet, “The worst a personality type can do to himself or herself is to not be who they really are and try to be something they are not.” AN introvert cannot be an extrovert and vice versa.
I do not force myself to not speak or not keep in touch with people. It is not something that I enjoy.
I have a few friends who I can truly call friends. The rest are mere acquaintances. I do not wish on having more friends but wish on having more right kind of friends. The right type will do me immense of good. But, my ‘filtration process’ is very rigid.
The causes are inherently worst – If I want to go out, I do not have options of calling up my friends to ask them out. In my hometown, I go out only with my best friend or Phoebe.
Do I ever get the feeling I am better off as an extrovert or try to open up with few more people? No.
Let see if I wasn’t an introvert, what I would do:
I may not have three on-going projects – GamerPhoneyx, my gaming YouTube channel. Xyneophoenyx.com my website and my music project. I may have one or two projects or even all three. But, this is how I look at it. Since I am an introvert and less of an out-going-mingling-and-mixing up kind of person, I have more time for my family, my projects and myself. In other words, I love doing what I am doing. Without the love for these things, I would not blog, nor make music nor make great YouTube videos.
Yes, I do wish I had more right type of friends I could hang out with from time to time. Are you one of them?