My Respect for Women increased during Wife’s pregnancy

By Phil/Kords | Published 3 October 2020 | No Comments

Word Count: 774
Time to Read: 3 min 5 sec

In the Holy Bible, God did not want to leave a man alone. So, He put him to deep sleep and from his rib, he enclosed it into flesh and made woman. 

Whatever way a woman may have come into this world – through creationism or evolution. Believe whatever you like. No one can change the fact that women out there are the reason we are here. This post is not about appeasing the female species of the human race. I know there are some females like few men who do not come under any species. 

It isn’t about them but about the women who I have come to know to my life – Mom, my wife, my dear friend who I take as a sister – commonly called as rakhi sister, my best friend and some ladies who I am close. It is also about women in general.  

Since birth, the women you meet is your mother. Right from the womb, you can feel the outpouring of your mother’s love. If you are lucky, the next women or let me appropriately call it, girl you may meet in your life will be your sister. That’s two women you grow up to and eventually understand their ‘struggles’ in general. 

However, the true struggle, what I believe every woman goes through – pregnancy. Most husbands and brothers lucky enough to see their married sister pregnant will appreciate the fact of the course their wife/sister’s body takes after conceiving.

Here’s some background – My struggle to start a family goes around five years back. Phoebe and I were not in a hurry to start a family. Six months after my marriage, Dad passed away. His sudden demise changed everything. 

I had to think fast until we finally decided to start a family. Our struggle took five years to achieve. Phoebe delivered the good news to me in Jan 2020. 

The Pregnancy Period: 

During the entire process of her pregnancy from Jan 2020 onwards, I saw her physiological changes. Her constant puking for 3-4 months showed me what a woman goes through in pregnancy. I came to appreciate the hardships, sacrifices a woman has to go through – with my mom, in particular, going to great lengths to care for her.

I felt helpless because there was nothing that I could do to make her feel better. These were the ‘side-effects’ of pregnancy every woman goes through. It was a natural process. 

What I have understood, this constant puking works differently for different women. I have heard, for some women, it may last towards the end of their pregnancy. For some, my former housemaid’s daughter-in-law did not puke even once throughout the period. 

Phoebe was lucky it did not last long. It eventually eased out after 3-4 months. Though from the 5th to the 9th month, she did puke – but it was rare.

If you are a newly married husband and are either expecting a child or planning for one – understand you will feel helpless. 

Typically in India, no matter what your religion, pregnant daughters go to their respective mother’s house so that they can be ‘properly’ cared. In my case, Phoebe was not particular of going to her own home due to the Covid-19 pandemic. The consulting doctor’s location is in my hometown. My mother in law was also old and had a lot of things on her head too. Phoebe’s dad passed away last November 2019 and her dad’s sister lived with then. She passed away in April 2020.

When any woman is pregnant, she cannot bend forward. I cannot imagine the inability of a person to do that. Pregnancy takes its toll on a woman’s back and it has to be taken care of post-delivery. Massaging is one of the methods and taking complete rest for the body to recover for at least a month. 

The pregnancy process makes you think of what your mother had gone through. It kind of gives you an idea of the struggles, pain and mood swings. It is one in a lifetime experience of motherhood. I was lucky the lockdown period gave me the chance to serve Phoebe, be there for her and care for her in mom’s absence. 

Now that it’s over, caring for my daughter begins. I have decided to screen-name her Pandora. It has to alliterate with my screen name Phil Phoenyx and my wife’s Phoebe Phoenyx. It is unfortunate that Phoebe is no longer a contributor towards some of my projects but it does not matter. 

For all the women who went through the joy of pregnancy – my #respect for you. 

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